Monday

NANA'S GONE A GOOGLING

Currently
silly statements proclaim that 80 is the new 60 which becomes the new 30 and so
on, thus changing every number we have known from the beginning of time to a
different value.  Then comics and others poke fun at us for
being forgetful.  Then many familiar titles of products and their purpose
is exchanged for a strange, newer one.
For
example: in the past when we referred to an eye pad it was for a
pink eye.  Now, it means something altogether wonderful and brilliant, the
iPad® device which I would not put away under penalty of law unless Sean
Connery asked me to lay it down for him.
Obviously
terminology has changed as to cause brain fog in any intelligent, vital person.
Plus we’ve heard said that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  This in
fact does not prove it is because we are discreet but rather
that we go blank for what happened or whom we ended up with because all words,
and names have been revised. Will the real Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, Diddy,
P.Diddy, Snoop Dog, Snoop Lion, Fast Eddie, oh wait that’s my ex; stop playing
the name game. There is Ice Tea and Lady Gaga and 30 cents-he used to be 50
cents but in this economy… and a bunch of less talented dolts who make up
ridiculous names and grab their crotches a lot.  We were more mature
sophisticated folks in the old days when our groups were
called  Motley Crue, Grateful Dead and Alice Cooper,  such a
nice girls name, to mention a few.  Whadda ya gonna do with kids
today!!!!!
Some
professionals have changed their business names and some times we forget whom
to ask for when calling our own kids. What are they going with these days?
 What means shall we we use to contact with them?  Is it their cell
phone, land line or Dick Tracy wrist phone? Should we use their texting name or
prison or twitter handle?
At one
time if we described as being with it that meant we were
enthusiastic and knowledgeable. Now when we want to express our joy to you, we
are supposed to claim, “I am down” (which used to be filler
for my blankie) according to the new jargon.  You all changed
the rules and then you call us old mindless geezers.  
Knock it
off.  Yes we are graying but we are also giggling and gyrating in this age
of googling®.
Get clear
on this here and now.  We are not your father’s Oldsmobile® 
or your old time grandparents either.  Most of us are computer or at least
smart phone literate although the virtual secretary Siri in our phone can be an
idiot at times. On the other hand she does remind us to soak our teeth or
anything that aches.
Rather
than a matchmaker or archaic courting customs from the last century, we find
dates on the Internet, though not always successfully. On one site, I requested
a big fellow and one man arrived on stilts.  We had a good relationship
until I ended it because I kept getting splinters in my thighs.
What you
do not know and should wise up about is that most of us are simply in the second phase
of life; these are the years 41-80*. Just like you are and we are hot.
 Usually hormone replacement therapy remedies that.
We love
to dance and jog and Zumba®. We enjoy going to the theatre and
movies.  We practice yoga or Tai Chi, have learned to paint and
sculpt, enjoy watching sports and appreciate fine dining. Those two don’t
actually go together especially at the ballpark.  And no more pancakes, or
early bird dates.  How about meeting us instead at a restaurant serving
true international cuisine with fine wine, imported beer and soft jazz wafting
in the background?  Let’s play tennis, go skiing or meet on the
racket ball court.  Believe it or not, some of us can still do it, though,
perhaps not as vigorously as you. And we now have our chiropractor on speed
dial just in case you are injured.
Take a
foreign language or cooking class with us.  Talk with us as if we were
peers, (to a degree).  FYI: To us friends with benefits means someone
who adds us to their insurance policy. Though the other still has its place as
part of the full menu.
We like
to learn new things and we attend classes or pursue cutting edge activities
that we may not have had time for when raising our families. You do not know
everything about us.  Don’t wait too long.  We want to know you
better, too.  You may be surprised and impressed with what we have endured
and survived to get to this place before ending up as your loving relatives,
friends, and neighbors.  Why don’t you ask? 
Furthermore
and thankfully, science produced those little blue pills that have energized
some of us and birth control has relieved anxiety so our grandkids do not end
up being embarrassed by having tiny aunts and uncles who are in diapers.
 We now appreciate the slow, thoughtful acts of love.  Yes…we still
do it, though chandeliers no longer have the appeal they once did.
We are
news junkies and keep up on most world events and are willing to listen to what
you young’uns have to say, usually.
The point
here is we don’t simply need your obligatory holiday visit where you are
texting from entry to exit.  You do not have to bring us flowers or a tie
as your duty.  We certainly do not need any more crap cluttering
our lives.
 But your attention would be appreciated.
Let us
have revealing conversations as you would with other humans.  Teach us
something new and we will do the same for you.  There is so much of our
history that might intrigue you and certainly the reverse is true.
We
probably have been through and survived much of what you are going through.
 Maybe we can give you a solution and maybe not.  We have no ego
involved in whether you follow our advice or ignore it.  When we suggest
you might want to avoid the pothole on the next street, or other cautionary
tales, it is up to you whether to do that or not.  It is your life. We
simply want to share it more thoughtfully.
Can you
stop with ageist labels already?  You can call us seasoned citizens if you
wish or granny or pa or nana or by our own names if that is agreed upon. It
does not matter what you call us; just call us.
Lets
get down, dude!
PS.
Birthday numbers are meaningless especially in this digital age.
Cheese ages.
 We in fact evolve and are still booming and blooming.  There
are plenty of terms like infants, tweens, teens, adults, and enough titles to
wear out a label maker.  Lets mobilize to have the law changed to stop
counting the years and change it to just another phase we are going through,
okay!
     THE FORMULA
 *Phase 1:  YEARS 1-40
Phase 2:  YEARS 41-80 (Yay! I’m in same
phase as my kids and Sophia Loren)
 *Phase 3:  YEARS 81-120
 Thereafter, you deserve to call it
anything you wish.
 THE END